It’s been a little while since I published a blog post, and here’s why. Last month I received a rejection for my current manuscript. Actually, it wasn’t exactly a rejection. It was feedback from a literary agent which contained a lot of positives and kept the door open for the agent to suggest some other agents. Pretty fantastic, right? But the bit that got me was ONE negative comment that I didn’t want to hear. Something I’d been working hard on eliminating from my writing. Something no-one else had commented on with this particular draft of this particular work-in-progress. Something I was pretty sure I’d cracked.

When self-doubt sets up camp

Self-doubt saw her opportunity. She used that one negative comment to barge through the door and make herself comfortable. And despite knowing the reasoned arguments (that this is part of the journey of a writer, that this was one negative comment out of many positives, that this was fixable), I caved. I downed tools (actually, I crumpled in a heap of hysterical tears – ask my husband!) and decided I had to take a month off.

Now, I’m not saying I did the wrong thing by taking some time out (more on that later), but this experience got me thinking.

If I don’t believe in my own writing, if I don’t send my stuff out there, I am the one standing in the way of my own potential success. I am my own gatekeeper.

What is a gatekeeper?

Stop being your biggest gatekeeper. Learn how to move past self-doubt and gain the confidence to promote your writing.

The term gatekeeper is used in marketing to denote someone who stands between your product and the final consumer, but who is not the actual consumer. As marketing and advertising have evolved, professionals have come to understand there is more than one person involved in the purchase of an item. There is a whole Decision Making Unit and Decision Making Process (more on that another day).  For example, early car advertising used to target men because they thought men were making the decision to buy cars. But research revealed women had a huge influence on these purchasing decisions, even if they didn’t sign the cheque or ‘own’ the vehicle. They were a gatekeeper. This shifted car advertising – advertisers started creating messages which they thought would appeal to women.

For a writer, there could be many gatekeepers who stop, filter or pass information to your potential reader. There’s the person:

  • who decides whether to pass the book on – booksellers, bookstore owners, librarians, friends, parents
  • who influences other’s decisions – reviewers, bloggers, other authors, friends, parents
  • who parts with cash for the book – friend, family, or the actual reader

Add to that, the person:

  • who decides to represent an author – e.g. literary agent
  • who decides to publish a book – publisher/editor/financial department
  • who publicises the book – publicist, you

For now though, I want to deal with the gatekeeper NOT mentioned in that list: the writer!

When you are the gatekeeper

If I:

  • allow doubt to stop me from sending out my stuff
  • allow comparison to paralyze me
  • don’t find a way through rejection / critique / feedback / imperfection
  • don’t work hard at: finding a great hook, choosing appropriate comp titles, honing my query letter

… I am acting as my own gatekeeper.

We’ve all had that dream. The one where the big publisher picks up the phone and offers us a six-figure advance because they saw that thing we wrote on social media/our blog/Medium and they just know we’re the next big thing. Tell me I’m not alone here! But why on earth would that happen? Put yourself in the shoes of a publisher. Books are expensive to print. There are millions of books on the shelves and online. There are thousands of people publishing their own work every day. Deciding to publish your work is a risk.

So, if we’re even going to get out of the gate, we have to do the hard and important work of making sure our self-talk is not sabotaging our potential. I’m not talking about bigging ourselves up, saying things that aren’t true, comparing ourselves to a best-selling author.

Finding a way through self-doubt

I’m saying we need to find a way through doubt, comparison and rejection. Whether that’s:

  • a supportive and honest writing community
  • employing the services of a professional editor
  • reading an encouraging blog
  • sticking to a daily writing discipline
  • reading daily affirmations

I’m not saying we should flog a dead horse. There are times when it’s right to take a break or move on to a new project. I, for one, needed that break. But I will never improve as a writer if I don’t receive critique. And I will never know whether my writing appeals to a wider audience unless I put it out there. Marketing ourselves is vulnerable, but it has to be part of the process.

What do you do when facing self-doubt? I’d love to hear your strategies.

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